My heart stuck in my chest, I can’t breath! I feel like bad emotions are falling on my soul. I can’t think. Anxiety is here! I panic. I can’t stop it. I feel so vulnerable. It’s a nightmare. How will I face this? I’m all alone. I feel stuck in my own mind. What can I do?
So much pain, It feels like a truck hit me. I happen so fast, I did not have time to prepare my mind. It’s here! Anxiety took control of my body and mind! I’m like a baby, so small, so, vulnerable. How will I get out of this one?
Theses are small tips that helps me pass trough the ruff times!
Go into a quiet place! Stay away from an overwhelming environment!
Reassure yourself, be kind and respect your feelings. As yourself, what you can change now to feel better!
Breath! Slowly, put your mind on the sound of your breathing.
You don’t need to be alone!
Look the time! It will reassure you! It will pass, you are okay!
Thanks so much for reading, I do understand how you feel and it can be hard. Please seek help if your anxiety feels unbearable! Don’t face it alone! You are loved and don’t forget how strong you are!
Please visit any of those websites if you need immediate help:
Confusion… You know that feeling when you are wondering what the f..k you are doing? When your mind is so a mess, that you are wondering why you are living, for what purpose?
When you have ADHD you are living for only one thing, a rush. The same as craving sugar. But you simply can’t control it, it control’s you!
Confusion, like a teenage kid, you don’t know what you really want to do with your life. You try something for a while, you love it, at least you think you do. You get bored. Starting a new project. A new idea. But again, the rush passes. You just don’t see any reason to stick with it.
After a while, your life stays at the same point. So many failures. You start to think your life is a failure. Again and again.
It’s your fault! If only you could stick with one project! You always change your mind. You can’t feel that dopamine that you crave, anymore! You are bored, you don’t see the point doing something, that you now hate.
Maybe if you would force yourself to say on that one idea, maybe you would of succeed. But what about happiness? Will you find it? Why is so hard?
You know that influencer that you follow? She is contented her craving with so much attention, like! Without that attention, would she continue posting? Definitely doubt it!
Am I an attention whore? Absolutely! Why do you think so many actor, artist and entrepreneur have ADHD? They need that dopamine fix! It’s the only way we can function in life!
Do you know someone that always change work, or carier all the time? Help them keep the dopamine up, by encouraging them! Give them the attention they crave! It’s the only way they will stick with that project!
Did you know that a lot, I mean, a lot of freelancer and business owner were diagnose with ADHD? Are you surprise? Of course many of them have a team to help with the every day struggle! If I could afford it, I’ll probably have a assistant. Her (his) main job will be to remind me my goals for the week and stick with it! It’s very hard for me to wake up every morning and do the work I need to do to success! I’m sure I’m not the only one!
I must admit that I thought long and hard before writing this article. I wanted to thing of the way I will share theses tips with you! I fought to live as normally as possible. Articles are starting to be written on the subject, people are better informed. It’s a little better seen now than it was 10 years ago. I recently read an article saying that ADD (H) make the best entrepreneurs; I thought it was time to broach the subject. Not from the perspective of a healthcare professional, but of a person with the disorder.
Over the years of experience, I have developed ways to move forward and successfully overcome my difficulties. Today I’m going to share my tips and tricks with you! I still have things to learn and improve, but over the past year it has clicked and my method is now the right one! For me anyway.
My imperfections can be qualities
Before I begin, I will introduce you to the disorder from which I am suffering. I was diagnosed at about 6 or 7 years old, after my kindergarten teacher told my mother I was a trouble child. You see, I start to get physically and psychologically abuse at a very young age. This teacher was a nightmare, she strap me on a chair so I stop moving around, she also punish me by isolate me from the other kids. I remember it like yesterday. She wanted to transfer me to a class for intellectual disabilities.
Hopefully my mother step in and refuse it! She did well because I finished high school and was able to do some college! I understand that I learn better on the job much better than in the classroom where I get bored easily (despite the learning disability).
With relentlessness, I graduated like everyone else and my intelligence does not prevent me from being above average (according to the psychiatrist). When I was 20, I was enough educated and ready to move into the world of business. I learned over time that working for an employer didn’t give me the freedoms I needed to function. It never worked, even when I was ready to compromise and make the effort! Preferring to fire me, then teach me properly. I lived better on temporary contracts (summer or winter jobs), I have the tendency to get bored very easily and when I have ideas I have to put them into place now. As a self-employed worker, this is something that I can do and that allows me to flourish as a person.
Here are my tips and tricks for anyone with ADHD/ADD
1. Have paper or space to write
Like anyone with Attention Deficit, I quickly forget as my head is crawling with ideas all the time. It’s not uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night with an idea for a article or whatever. I always carry a little book where all my ideas are written, so I can go back to them later! It happens very often that it is not clear and well worded, but as long as the basics are there, that is the most important. Writing in advance before implementing the idea is important to me, being impulsive, it allows me to think twice!
2. Have you proofread by someone you trust!
No choice, this is the required box, especially if you are writing. “Normal” people are structured and like clean, no-frills texts and ideas. It’s always good to share with someone you trust. This is a hard thing for me. I have trust issue and I am working to gain confidence and learn to trust again!
3. Have routine! At least try to have one!
We ADD (H), don’t really like routine actions, but they will help you start your day! I try to get up and go to bed at the same time every day, get dressed and go to work mode. If I stay in my pajamas, laziness sets in and productivity takes a hit. I also go out to a library or a café, which gives me a little boost. The house sometimes makes me want to do nothing! Can’t wait Covid-19 is over! It’s start to be hard for the mind and soul!
4. Caffeine is your friend!
No kidding, it keeps me focused on the task at hand. I’m not saying overdo it, but good coffee is one of the things that works with me! The difference between my self “without my dose of caffeine” and that “with” is obvious, productivity is doubled!
5. Give yourself goals every day
It’s really important ! Without a goal, you will forget things, you will have difficulty prioritizing certain projects or ideas. Making to-do lists helps me a lot. I always have a paper planner in addition to the one on my phone. I set myself alarms, in order to remember my appointments in advance.
6. Take regular breaks!
Stop at the slightest mental fatigue! Go get yourself another coffee, walk around the house or the office. If you are on the H side, like me, I assure you that it feels good! Close your eyes and relax, take deep breaths!
7. If you have H syndrome, go exercise!
Since I run for an hour every morning, in addition to weight training in the afternoon (again, can wait my gym open again), I feel better and my concentration thanks me! I have a lot less jitters, I make better decisions and I suffer less stress! I believe this is great for all entrepreneurs; whether they have attention deficit disorder or not! It’s a constant personal challenge! Taking care of your body and your health is something that will keep you work and shine, for a very long time. You will feel better in your body and especially in your head!
8. Reading will help you sleep!
Take a moment before bed to read a book. Our brain is very active and reading is a way for me to calm it down, to focus it on just one thing. Go with something less intellectual before bed, a novel, an interesting story, it will help you sleep, you will have less chance of waking up at night, your quality of sleep will be improved.
9. Be diligent! Do it now!
Do you have an invoice to make? Do it, as soon as possible, if not now. If you procrastinate, you’ll forget to do it! Never postpone anything or wait tomorrow. This is the worst mistake you could make! Remember, your customers do not understand your difficulties! They might take it as unprofessional, even if you don’t do it on purpose!
10. ADHD is no excuse!
Your attention disorder should never, ever, be a hindrance to your dreams! Don’t give yourself excuses! Just because you are having difficulty doesn’t mean you aren’t able to work! You are like everyone else! Ideas come to you faster! You have unparalleled talent and you are creative. It is because of your ADHD that you are a successful entrepreneur! You are able to do anything! The only person who can block you is you and your negative thoughts!
I have ADHD … Yes, this is what I am. With the hard life that comes with it! The misunderstood around it, around me. The one on the moon, with a mess in her head. Craving dopamine like a junkie. With the ideas, creativity, intelligence, as a gift. Like a warrior, I never gave up, despite all the pitfalls in my life. I will never give up! This is my story!
My life is a battlefield. From a young age, I felt alone, misunderstood. Trying to make my mark in this world. With grown-up telling me how turbulent I was. How stupid I was, incapable to listen in class. Why was I forced to stay sitting? Quiet? Why was I always punish? Humiliated?
In my young adulthood, I hope for change. A change that never come. I stop looking for a job, thinking that no one will be capable to deal with me. That I am good for nothing. Even how much I try, the effort I made, I always got fired. I realise that most of the time, I got fired the first week. I start Freelance (we will come back to this!).
But why ADHD ? Why it’s hard for us to keep a job? I will tell you!
The reason is simple, the world is not made for people like me. Workplace even more. Each time I got employed the same scenario happens. They drag me next to a other employee and teach me everything in a day or two.
This is NOT the way my brain work.
The first day, I feel anxious, anxious the same scenario will happen again. Uncertain of what to do, how to act. I will have difficulty to concentrate, feel overwhelmed in a brand new place, with new people! I won’t learn anything technical this day, how hard that I try! My ADHD brain just won’t let me!
The second day, I will be more open to learning! I will have a day late, but I will try to make up for it! Write everything that I can, try to do two things at the same time. Take notes, and listen. It feels like a marathon, I am exhausted, I am starting to have a headache. Back at home, I start to feel anxiety coming back at me. I know that tomorrow I will need to work! For Real! Alone! I’m not ready! I Feel unwell, I won’t sleep, imaging the worst scenarios possible.
The third day, I am in front of a computer, I have to work now! The other employee is not too far, I start and realise that I don’t have all the information that I need. I look my notes, I can’t find what I’m searching for! With bravery I will ask my co-worker. She will help me, of course. I will remember this time. I never had a job before, they know. I do my best. I made mistakes. I try again, I will learn!
The forth day, I feel already more comfortable. I have the impression, I do well. I have no feedback. It must say, I’m doing well right? I start to talk to people, my shyness disappeared slowly. I’m doing my very best, I work hard. My brain is full, but I manage. I think I do.
The fifth day, I do my job better than yesterday. I still look at my notes, I still ask questions, when I am not certain I’m doing the right thing. I feel my colleague a bit tired of my questions. I feel that the atmosphere changing. I try to ignore the little voice in my head, the one that tells me that I’m screwed.
No one tells me anything yet. I did not receive any feedback about my work. I would of like that. Fix my mistakes before is too late. It’s so hard for me to not thing about the eventuality of being fired, again! My brain won’t let go! It’s hard to work with that burden!
My intuition was right! At the end of the day I got fired. I’m not a good fit… No real explanation. I’m too anxious to ask anything and leave the place as silently than a thief. Ashamed of myself! Destroying bit by bit the small part of confidence I have left!
To finish, I want to make you understand, that I try. Try to make it work so hard! The employer did not know I had ADHD. It scared me! I always saw it like a liability, something I can’t trust. In these years, it was not a thing to talk about those things publicly. Even more when you try to search for a job! Will it change something if I open up? Will never know!
Freelance and the revelation of my gifts!
As you can imagine, I stop looking for a job. I was done, it was over! I was going to find another solution. I was not bad at doing a website. Not the best but, I was sure I could find some small business to help! It works! I got work! Too much work. I was overloading! How to say no? For once, people needed me! I was essential. Without me, they have no presence on the web! It felt good! I’m not saying it was perfect. I was learning. I was accepting too much contrast, some clients got mad. I try to make up to it. Sometime it works, sometimes not. I’m human. I just wanted to help as much as possible! I did not know how to manage a business. Something it was doing so well, I could relax and other time it was a struggle to find clients! I learn the hard way! I am a warrior. I never stop.
Covid-19 happen. A break for once! Time to think about my future.
After eight years of up and down. I decide to stop accepting as much contrast. Even if I could find more clients. I am tired, I want to try something else. Maybe try to find a job? Will they hire someone like me? Will it be déjà-vu? Will I have a chance? What if I move 5 days away from my birthplace? In English? Am I good enough? I have to leave my fears behind if I wish to go forward, even if it’s not easy!
I want to start brand new in a new city, in Vancouver, in English. In a field, in a business that will understand that I can make a difference. Be my first REAL job. Is it utopic? Am I asking too much? I don’t think so. I deserve to be successful! I deserve to accomplish something good in this life! To live my life, the way I imagine it! I’m not giving up! Don’t give up!
